What to Do When a "Ghoster" Comes Back [Do These 5 Things]

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- Have you ever been dating a guy and you seem to be really getting along? I mean, you're telling your friends this guy is the one you're going to marry, he's texting you all the time, he's really responsive. But then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, he just disappears. And you think, not another one. You're sad, you're disappointed. But you pick yourself up, you start building your confidence again, and it seems that at the very moment you finally feel happy with your life, he reappears into your life. What the hell, man? So in this video right now, I'm gonna be talking about the five things that you need to do when this ghoster comes right back into your life, keep watching. (inspiring music) Hey there, I'm LoDolce from sexyconfidence.com, where I help you create your love story. And if you are sick of ghosters coming in and out of your life, give this video a like. It really helps me out a lot, and it's gonna give you some good luck moving forward in your love life. And also, don't forget to subscribe to this video and click the bell for notifications, because you're not going to wanna miss a single video that we have coming out this year. We've got a lot of good stuff, you don't want to miss it. In just this past week, one of my love accelerated coaching clients asked this question, and I wanted to answer it for all of you sexy single ladies. Hey Adam, I was in a committed relationship with a man for over two months. Out of nowhere, he ghosted me with no explanation. I was heartbroken. Four weeks later, he reached out to see how I was doing, what do I do now? I have so many questions. Karen, for starters, just realize that this isn't an uncommon thing for both men and women. Unfortunately, it's become a reality of today's dating scene to just ghost on people, rather than actually have the courage to let them down or break up with them. And this leaves you in a really uncomfortable position, because you probably really like this guy. Clearly, you said you were heartbroken, and now he seems like he's back to pursuing you again. So, what do you do? So here are five steps that I highly recommend you take. Step one is you're probably gonna have the initial feeling of (bleep) off dude, because you're frustrated at this point. Why would he do that to you? But if he's making a very genuine and authentic effort to come and see you and talk to you, then maybe you should just open your heart just a little bit to see what actually happened. If for example, the way that he reappears into your life is he sends you a text asking you what's going on, what I would recommend you do is have him call you. The reason why I want this guy to call you is because I want him to have to make an effort to actually win you back over. If he's not willing to even pick up the phone and actually talk to you like a human, than he's not worth your time. Step number two is when you're talking to him, I want you to fight the urge to ask him if you did anything wrong. This is not the time to get feedback on what you could have done differently in the relationship. This is all about him having to explain himself about what really happened, because he did really one of the rudest things that a human can do to another human, and that's going completely dark on that person. So he's got some explaining to do. Step three is for you to set really hard boundaries in your mind about the explanations you will not accept for him. If he's being at all vague about the reason why he disappeared, or he's just kinda saying, oh, it wasn't the right time in my life, or he won't give you any explanation, do not accept that as an explanation. He already screwed up once, he already ghosted on you, he already did something incredibly rude to you. Don't allow for these kind of vague and unclear reasons of why it is that he just completely ghosted. And before that conversation really holds strong to those boundaries, because I don't want you to get sucked into a new relationship with a guy who might just ghost you again. Step number four is to listen for reasons that are actually acceptable. In my opinion, people go in and out of really rough times in their life. And if he's legitimately sorry and can give you a very clear, solid reason as to why it is he disappeared, such as he lost his job. Or worse, there was a tragedy in the family, or someone lost their life, or something in his life that happened that just caused him to completely retract from everything in his life, then those are the types of explanations that I would be open to exploring with a person if they did ghost. And then finally, if you've gotten this far, step number five is, if you decide to move forward with this guy, set clear boundaries moving forward for how this relationship will look. If you do decide to move forward with this guy after all that's happened, then you can determine the boundaries moving forward. There's no more just kinda dipping his toe into this and seeing where things go. Either he's in it or he's not, and I would want a firm commitment with someone at that point, that they are really in it and they've really changed. And at this point, I really want you to listen to your gut and even look for the micro expressions and the way he's explaining himself so that you can really get a feel for whether or not this dude is just legit or not. And if you'd like to learn a little bit more about men and why it is that we pull away and how to pull us back in, I actually have a course about this in my Sexy Confidence Club program called Why They Pull Away. We'll leave the link in the description, or you can head on over to sexyconfidence.com. When you join the Sexy Confidence Club, you get access to a ton of different courses that'll help you in every phase of your love life, as well as access to a very active community of women who are going to support you all along the way. So go ahead and check that out. Head on over to sexyconfidence.com. We have a ton of great information for you to help you through every single stage of dating and finding love. And then finally, I'd love to hear from you. Have you ever had a guy completely ghost on you and then reappear in your life? Leave a comment right there below. Thank you so much for watching, and I'll speak to you, you sexy single ladies, next week. Bye-bye.

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