How to Be His #1 Priority, Not an Option

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- Have you ever been with a guy and felt like he was just not treating you like his priority? And you're getting so frustrated because you want to make him your priority, but you're not getting that feeling in return, and worse, you don't really know how to handle the situation. Do you invest more into the relationship and hope that he's going to reciprocate or do you pull back and create a little bit of space and then hope that he's going to close that space and want to make you his priority? You don't know what to do. So in this video right now, I'm gonna talk about how to be a man's priority and absolutely not be his option. Keep watching. (upbeat music) Hey there, Adam Lodolce from sexyconfidence.com where I help you create your love story, and this video is all about being a priority in someone's life, and if you enjoy this topic, please give it a like on YouTube. Also don't forget to give it a heart on Instagram if you're watching it there and don't forget to follow me or subscribe on either of these channels because we are going to be releasing so much new content this year that is going to help you improve your love life. So you don't want to miss out on any of that good stuff coming your way. Now, when it comes to being a guy's priority, there are really two different stages in dating and relationships where I want to address this problem, and the way that I will answer this question will differ depending on what stage you're in. Now, the first stage is that you are just talking to this guy, and that means that you are not in an exclusive relationship with him, and in our framework here at Sexy Confidence, we call that little love steps number one through five, and by definition, if you are in this phase of a relationship, you are not going to be his priority. You are going to just be an option, which leads me to an incredibly important point which is never commit to a man unless he is explicitly committed to you, and if you're in this talking situationship with a guy and he's not making you his priority, you really have one option at this particular stage which is to explore other options. Don't allow yourself to fall into the trap that I call oneitis where you have all of your emotional energy focused in on this one guy and that is it and you're not exploring any other options, but I'm here to tell you that unless you are at little love step number six which you are in a healthy, committed relationship, then you should absolutely be talking to other guys and exploring other options, and that in turn will make a man want to invest more in you, especially if he's interested in a relationship with you because if he gets that feeling that he's going to lose you if he doesn't take action here, then he's going to make you his priority. He's going to want to invest more in the relationship. Now let's explore the second stage of dating and relationships which is what I call little love step number six, and once you get to this stage, you are in an explicitly committed, exclusive relationship with a guy and it's natural that at this stage, you both are going to start prioritizing each other more because at this stage, you're exclusive with each other. You're not seeing anyone else, and when it comes to love, you are each other's focus, but it's really important to get realistic once you are in an exclusive relationship. If you're feeling like you are not a guy's priority, it's important to understand what are his priorities? So let's dive into a few, shall we? Number one priority usually is work. When a guy has a lot going on professionally, and you want to be sure that's actually work and he's not just saying it's work, but let's say it is actually work and he has a lot going on there. Well, this is perfectly natural for a guy to dive into his professional career, especially when he's in a new relationship. What tends to happen is guys get into a new relationship and they start to think to themselves, wow, I am no longer this single guy who's just free to do whatever I want. If this relationship works out, I need to get my (beep) together. He's gonna be thinking that in the back of his head. So a lot of times, when a guy gets into a new relationship, he actually focuses even more effort into work. It is ingrained into us as men to want to be the providers, and if we feel like we are not able to do that, it's very difficult for us to really want to commit. So if it is a work issue, then just have a conversation with him and try to carve out at least one night a week where it's date night, where you are completely prioritizing each other and you're not checking your phone, he's not checking his work stuff, and you are just focusing on you and the relationship. Now, another scenario that I hear from a lot of my Love Accelerator clients is when a guy is prioritizing his other friends or even his hobbies like golf or something like that instead of spending time with her. Now, if you're in a new relationship and you're finding that a guy still wants to spend most of his time with his friends, for starters, I want you to realize this. Whenever someone gets into a new relationship, that requires change, and change can sometimes be hard for some people and it takes certain people a little bit of time to adapt to a new relationship. Now, I'm not saying this lets him off the hook. He should be prioritizing you over his friends, even if it's a new relationship, but what I ask you to do is give a little bit of transitionary time. When a guy goes from being completely single, free to do whatever he wants, to a relationship where he really can't do whatever it is he wants whenever he wants, that takes a little bit of transitionary time. So give him some of that time to spend with his friends and of course spend with you, but as time moves on, the trend line should be in the right direction where he's starting to spend more and more of his time and energy with you, and if that's not happening, now it's time to actually have, again, what we call courageous communication. Sitting down with him and getting pretty clear about how much time you want to be spending with each other and being realistic about what it is that you want. So when you're not feeling like a priority when you're with a guy, what I want to caution you from doing is to try and always close the gap and try to always get closer and rather than do that, just be a little bit more strategic about how you handle these situations. Try to put yourself in his shoes and get crystal clear about what expectations you have in a relationship and what will truly make you happy. You don't want to force a man's hand to make you his priority. You want him to want you to be his priority. You want him to just want it and be committed to it. You don't want to force his hand. So follow the advice in this video and leave a comment right there below. Have you ever felt like you weren't a priority in a relationship? How did you handle it? And finally, if you'd like to learn more about the seven little love steps so that you can finally find that relationship that you truly deserve, head on over to littlelovesteps.com and I'm going to give you a free training that will walk you through the entire framework, and finally, if you haven't done it yet, please give this video a like. What are you waiting for? And please give it a heart if you're watching on Instagram. That helps me out a lot and I will speak to you, you sexy single lady, next week, buh-bye.

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