7 Ways Your Insecurities Are Actually Pushing Him Away

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- Have you ever found yourself in a great relationship and things just seem to be clicking with a new guy? And then seemingly out of nowhere these emotions come out from deep within your soul that are telling you to just run away from this relationship and end it very quickly. And worse, the logical part of your brain is telling you, this is a good situation for you. The guy that you're dating is good. But then your heart is just telling you run for the hills because this is just not working out. And conventional dating advice out there tells you to just always follow your heart because your heart always knows what's right. But I'm here to tell you to hold off on that feeling for just a moment because it is possible that your heart is actually speaking on behalf of your insecurities. (gentle music) Hey there, Adam Lodolce from http://www.sexyconfidence.com where I help you find love and do it with sexy confidence. And in this video right now, I'm gonna be talking about seven different insecurities that are quite possibly pushing men away and causing you from having a great relationship. And I should say that we all have insecurities in relationships. I am certainly not void of them myself. But the key part of overcoming any type of insecurity in your life is to first off be aware of them. And hopefully, as I go through these insecurities, you're going to see a few different moments where you're really blocking your love life from actually taking it to the next step. The first insecurity that might be pushing him away is what I call the negativity snowball effect. And this is where you have one kind of negative idea about the relationship and it just ruminates in your brain. Before you know it, it starts with kind of a small thing such as he's not that clean and doesn't take care of his home, all the way to him being the absolute worst husband in the world and he could never be a good father. This is what I call the negativity snowball effect because it snowballs and builds and builds and builds on itself without you even addressing this externally. So if you find yourself just nitpicking and honing in on every little negative part of every relationship you're in, then it's time to be mindful of this behavior. The next insecurity is called the ex comparison insecurity. If when you're in a new relationship the first thing you do is go to his Facebook profile and try to search for pictures of his ex-girlfriend, then you, my sexy single ladies, are suffering from this. It's really easy to get sucked into that game. Am I better looking than that ex or am I not? But if you allow yourself to go down that rabbit hole, it is almost guaranteed to push him away. Especially if you bring it up to him, because he will think that you, my sexy single lady, are (beep) crazy. Insecurity number three is the he's too good to be true insecurity. Have you ever been dating a new guy and he just seems to treat you really well? He's respectful, he takes you out for dinners, he calls you when he says he's going to. And you just think to yourself, wait, no (beep) way. And this insecurity will always be stemming from your past. If every previous guy you've ever dated has treated you like (beep) or has been disrespectful to you, it is going to feel weird and almost off-putting when someone is actually treating you well. But I ask you to go into every new relationship with that fresh perspective. Your past doesn't equal your future. And just be cautiously optimistic. It doesn't mean you need to dive in head first and just trust this guy wholeheartedly, but it does mean you do need to accept his advances, if of course, he's treating you right. The next insecurity is what I call the proximity insecurity. And this insecurity is basically the mindset where if he is not with me, then it's likely he's trying to cheat on me. Basically you're thinking, if he's not in close proximity to you, then you don't have control over him and you don't have control over which girls he's talking to, what he's doing behind your back. And the entire time you're just thinking, I need to get closer to this guy. And this is just your baggage from the past just creeping right into your mind and holding you back from actually having new love. Because you're thinking to yourself, well, 100% of the times that I've been cheated on, I wasn't there. So naturally your mind goes into a place that says, if I can just be with him all the time, then he won't cheat. But we all know that that's not realistic. The next insecurity is the let's make him really (beep) jealous so that he wants me more. Are you the type of girl who posts a ton of pictures on Instagram with you, with other people, and other guys, in particular, just to kind of make the guy you're talking to just a little bit jealous? And you may not think that this is actually toxic behavior because what's the big deal, right? But in reality, this behavior is coming from a place of fear. You think that if he doesn't see you with other guys and think that you're hot (beep), then he's gonna walk away. Insecurity number six is what I call the fake confidence insecurity. I've seen this insecurity many times back when I was single. And it's that insecurity where people go around just saying, I'm hot (beep). I don't need a person in my life. If you're a woman, I don't need a man in my life, because I am the best. And one constant that I've noticed over the years of studying actually confident people in their life is that truly confident people never have to talk about how awesome or confident they are. So if you're going around talking about how hot (beep) you are, or that you don't need someone in your life, then think about who it is you're really talking to. 'Cause chances are, you're not talking to the person across from you, you're talking to the person in the mirror. And finally, insecurity number seven is the analysis paralysis insecurity. Does the guy you're dating just say one little thing that's a little bit off? And you happen to just latch onto that idea and just start to think, wow, this whole relationship is falling apart. Just the other day, one of the members in the Sexy Confidence club posted in the forum talking about this guy that she was seeing. And he texted her halfway through the weekend, I can't wait to see you next week. And then she writes this whole long overdrawn post about how the guy clearly, clearly doesn't wanna be with her anymore because he would've said he wanted to see her that weekend. But instead, he talked about how he wants to see her next week. And I simply just asked her, well is he around this weekend? And she immediately replies and says, no, he's away with his friends. But still, he should want to see me this weekend. This, my sexy single ladies, is the definition of being nitpicky. Men are typically pretty direct. And if a guy is saying, for example, he wants to see you next weekend and he can't wait, then chances are, he actually means that. So there you have it. There are the seven insecurities that are holding you back from finding love. So I wanna hear from you in the comments right there below. Which insecurity do you struggle with the most? And if you enjoyed this video, please don't forget to subscribe on YouTube and follow us on Instagram @SexyConfidence, as well as give it a like, give it a heart. We really appreciate it. And finally, if you'd like to learn the three biggest mistakes of why men pull away, I have a free training for you. I'll leave it in the description of this video, or the link in my Instagram bio. Thank you so much for watching, and I'll speak to you, you sexy single lady, next week. Bye-bye.

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