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- Now one of the most vulnerable positions you can ever be in is being in a new relationship where you know from, like, the bottom of your heart that you're in love with that person, yet that person hasn't said I love you to you. This is kind of like jumping out of an airplane thinking you might have a parachute on, but not being exactly sure if it's going to deploy. And, on one hand, if the parachute does deploy, AKA he says he loves you, then suddenly you can have the most exhilarating, incredible experience of your life, being able to soar through the sky so happy that you just had this amazing feeling. Whereas, on the other hand, if the parachute doesn't deploy, (beep), it's gonna get dark really (beep) quickly. And by that I mean he doesn't tell you he loves you, and you waste three years of your life hoping that he's gonna come around and finally confess his love to you and he hasn't, and now you are older, sadder and all alone. So, if you ever found yourself in this situation, for starters don't panic. In this video, I'm gonna be talking about five different reasons why a guy hasn't told you he loves you. Keep watching. (upbeat music) Hey there, Adam Lodolce from sexyconfidence.com, where I help you get out there and find love, and do it with sexy confidence. And if you're looking for just a little bit of luck in your love life, go ahead and give this video a like. It spreads a lot of good karma and it really helps me out a lot. So make sure you smash that like button right now. And let's just jump right into it. The first reason is that he's just getting his (beep) together first before he can commit to a real relationship. In my experience of coaching both men and women, I found that men are a little bit different when it comes to commitment than women. Women tend to be a little bit more go with the flow. Like, if they find themselves in a relationship with a guy who they are just connecting with, who they're falling in love with, they tend to just follow their heart a little bit further, regardless of their current life situation. Like, even if you're unemployed, you don't know where you're going to live, like, women tend to just go for it a little bit more than men, on the other hand, who, they can many times be overwhelmingly in love with a certain woman but, if they are unemployed, they don't know where they're going to live, they're going to be moving, if their life is just completely in flux, men tend to pull away even though they're in love. So, if the guy has a lot on his plate right now, if he's recently divorced, he's unemployed, he just is a complete pot mess in his life, give him a little bit of time but, at the same time, if you're not in a committed relationship with that guy, you should also be exploring your other options. You are not committed to this man unless he's committed to you. So make sure you keep your other options open while you're also kind of maintaining this relationship for when his life does finally turn around, and then maybe it'll work out. Reason number two is that he's been rejected in the past, and he's freaking terrified of getting rejected again. Sometimes I think that you sexy single ladies forget that us men, but we have hearts too, and sometimes, when we get our heart broken from past relationships or other women who just were absolutely fricking crazy, we bring that baggage forward with us to the new relationship, which makes us even more concerned about just diving in head first. When Jessica and I first got together, I waited almost five months before telling her that I loved her. And, by the way, I knew within, like, I don't know, two, three weeks of meeting her that I was, like, this is going to be the woman that I marry. But, anyways, it took me about five months to do that, and I did wait that long because I was, quite frankly, carrying a little bit of baggage from my previous relationship, where I dove in just a little too quickly, and things just didn't work out. So, if you get the sense that he doesn't quite trust you or he's kind of walking a little bit slowly, then it's okay if you go at the same pace as him. Allow that space for you to really get to know each other and really to trust each other before diving in head first. And the third reason why he hasn't said I love you is because he's just straight up not emotionally available. Now, when someone's emotionally unavailable, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're emotionally broken or they're going to be emotionally available for the rest of their life. It just means, at this current stage in their life, they don't want a relationship, and they don't want to unleash the emotions that go along with a relationship. Now this does not mean that you should wait for a guy to go from emotionally unavailable all the way to emotionally available. That can take a very long time, and there's absolutely no guarantee that you're gonna be the woman he ends up with. Now I remember back when I was about 25 years old I was living in New York City, and I met this girl who was incredible. I mean we connected on many different levels. We were not only, like, really close friends, but there's also just, like, explosive chemistry in the relationship, and I found that, as I was getting to know her further, there were really kind of two different voices going on in my head. Adam, just follow your heart and release your vulnerable side to her. Psst, Adam, don't listen to that guy. Go be a manslut and keep having your fun. Now the reason why I had these voices going on in my head is because I was at a time in my life where I was trying to be immature. I was not only young, but I was also valuing freedom in my own life. But there comes a point in most people's life where they start to really value things like security and depth of a relationship, and they value that over staying single, and being able to slut it up and do whatever it is that they want whenever it is that they want to do it. And, until a guy makes that internal decision on his own, that he does value security and he does value a relationship, he's just gonna remain emotionally unavailable the whole time, and he's not gonna tell you that he loves you. The fourth reason is that he feels like he's already told you he loves you just through his actions. Maybe he's been spending more and more time with you, introducing you to his family or his kids or his parents, and he's bought you flowers, done all of that stuff, and to him he feels like he's actually showed you his love, which quite frankly, in his mind, he thinks that means more than the words themselves. Now this is perfectly healthy if you're still within the first six months of a relationship, but, if you're finding that the relationship's going between six months and nine months and certainly a year and beyond without the I love you word being said, well, then we need to start peeling back this onion a little further because there's something else going on here. And the fifth and final reason why a guy hasn't said he loves you is that he's not in love yet, or he never will be in love with you. And this is a really harsh reality that sometimes happens. Sometimes you can get into a committed relationship with someone, things can be going really well, but there just isn't that extra spark that exists in the relationship. And maybe you've been in relationships in the past where you just haven't felt it. And sadly with any relationship it takes two to tango, and it can be harsh and it can be painful, but what I want you to do is avoid investing your life and making lifelong decisions with someone who's not clearly in love with you yet. So don't allow yourself to make serious decisions that you can't go back on without having that commitment of love. Don't allow yourself to have children with this man. Don't allow yourself to live with this man. Don't allow yourself to get married certainly with this man until that level of commitment is said verbally and is clearly shown to you. So let me hear from you in the comments below. Have you ever been with a guy who just couldn't say I love you? What happened? And also, if you want an extra resource on how to make a man miss you and commit to you and only you, I have a free training just for you. I'll leave a link to that training in the description or anywhere on the screen or, of course, in my bio if you're watching this on Instagram @sexyconfidence. And, please, give this video a like or a heart, wherever you're watching it. It really helps me out a lot. And I cannot wait to speak to you, you sexy single lady, next week. Bye bye.