This is the text version of the YouTube video "Know Your Bro with Chris…".
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-Here's how it works. One of you will wear noise-canceling headphones while the other one answers a question. Then you'll take the headphones off and we'll see if your answer matches. If it matches, you get a point. -All right. -As a reminder, one is the number to beat. [ Laughter ] -Brutal -- -I don't know if -- -Scott, please -- put these on. -Oh, thank God. -All right, and I'll -- -Start easy. -Here. Make sure you can't hear. -Oh, yeah. -Ready? Chris, what would Scott be if he weren't an actor? -Okay, if he weren't an actor, it would be -- it would be -- I know this. It would have something to do with, um -- [ Laughter ] Police work. He loves -- he loves, you know, detective shows and murder scenes. And it's morbid, but I think -- [ Laughter ] I do know for a fact -- -That's what he would love? -I actually know for a fact I'm going to get this right. Yes. It would have something to do with crime and him solving mysteries. I don't know how long it would last once he's on the crime scene. -Yeah. Why doesn't he just audition for one of those roles on TV? -But it's gonna have -- I actually know I'm going to win this. -Okay, great. All right. Hey, Scott? -Yes? -Scott? Very good. -I did great. -No, no, you didn't do anything yet. Here's what the question was. The question was, "What would you be if you weren't an actor?" -Like my job? Oh, homicide detective. Criminologist. -Wow! [ Ding ] [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -I mean, that's -- That seems like kind of an easy question. That's like -- -No. -That's like in my -- -That's not -- really? -Well, I don't know why. It's just, like, I'm so into murder. [ Laughter ] In, like, not a kinky way. -This is incriminating. -It's -- -Yeah. But why don't you just be in one of those shows? Go on "Law & Order?" -Or why don't you just murder? -Well, I've been -- [ Laughter ] [ Talking over each other ] -No, listen, I tell my boyfriend all the time, I'm just like, "Listen, don't ever get me mad because I can get away with it." [ Laughter ] -Are you one of those guys that, like, sees "Dateline," you go, "Oh, I see how they're going to do this"? -Oh, I see it. I'm like, "He did it. Guilty." [ Laughter ] -Me, too. And I know what he did wrong. -Yeah. I can fix it up. All right, here we go. This is -- so you wear the headphones. -I do? -Yep. Chris. -Wait, wait, wait. -Got to make sure it's on. -It's a good song. -All right. Ooh, wow, wow. [ Laughter ] Oh, my God. Wow. That's pretty good. All right. All right, Scott, what is something Chris did growing up that your parents still don't know about? [ Laughter ] -Um, all right. Okay. Well, something that he -- well, that involved me? Oh, actually, all right. -Doesn't have to involve you. -No, no, oh, this involves me. [ Laughter ] We -- I wonder if they know about this. I don't think she does. Growing up I was, God, I don't even know how old I was. Like, maybe eight or nine. We were watching TV, and my friend Sam was over watching TV, and my brother pushed me back into a coffee table, and I cracked my head open. And I ended up getting four stitches. But I remember, like, he pushed me against the table, and I hit it -- And I had already cracked my head open once, and I was like, "No blood, no blood, no blood." And my hand -- it was like a murder scene. It was like, "Ah, this is my dream job." And I was like, "Blood!" And Chris was like, "Please don't tell." And I just said that I fell, and I got stitches, and, Mom, he pushed me, so... [ Laughter ] -Wow. Wow! Wow, okay. Take it off. Yeah. Yeah, you have some explaining to do here. [ Laughter ] Yeah, I want to know. I want to know what went down. -Oh, no! -Here's the question. Here's the question. Don't look. Don't look. Don't give any brother hints. -There's no brother hints here. -What is something Chris did growing up that your parents still don't know about? -Huh. Um -- Wow. I mean, there's a few. [ Laughter ] All right, I'll -- Is it -- is it when I -- -Don't look, don't look at him. -Okay. I'll say it's when I made him cut school. I was a senior. He was a freshman. I made him cut school and we -- judging by the reaction, that's not right. [ Laughter ] -Wait, wait, wait, no. [ Buzzer ] Finish it, finish it, finish it. -Well -- oh, I'll finish it. -What happened? -I was a senior. He was a freshman. I made him cut school. We went and did a lot of bad things. [ Light laughter ] And then we came back to the school and -- -Did you murder anyone? -We played -- [ Laughter ] -I got in trouble for cutting class, but -- -What are you ratting me out for? -You cracked my head open. -Oh! -Remember that? -Ugh! [ Laughter ] -You know you pushed me. Listen. -Yeah, but that was between us. [ Laughter ] -This is where your acting skills come in. You were like, "All right, don't tell mom. Here's how we're going to do -- Like, "But I'm a homicide detective." -But Ma showed up, and he -- he -- he covered -- -I fell. -He covered my ass. -I fell -- -Ah, you're a good brother. See? -That was a big deal. Yeah, yeah. -All right. All right. [ Applause ] -All right. This is a question for -- -Cutting school was more fun. [ Laughter ] -Cutting school was the best. -Scott, that's for you. Just press play on that guy. Ready? -Yeah, yeah. -All right, good. All right, good. That's a good jam on there. -Yeah, it's a good -- -Techno jam. All right, this one. What is Scott's most embarrassing childhood memory? -[ Chuckles ] Um -- oh, God. Okay, I -- -No one's going to watch. -Okay. [ Laughter ] I know -- [ Sighs ] I know what it is. Well -- it's okay. It's fine. We've talked about this. Scott, as a kid, had, uh... bowel control issues. [ Light laughter ] And we were -- we were skiing in New Hampshire. I know this is what this is. We were skiing in New Hampshire. Me and my sister and my brother -- [ Light laughter ] And my father. We're skiing on the mountain. Scott, he's like five. He probably shouldn't even have been on skis. He pooped his pants. [ Laughter ] -Dude, this is the most embarrassing -- This is beyond embarrassing. Oh, my God. -But -- [ Laughter ] -Don't -- you shouldn't think of a different story. -I say this because I know -- ooh, I hope he's okay. Maybe it's different on TV. But I've heard him tell this story. So my father, you know, picked him up. We went to the bathroom. My father dumped his underwear. Back on the mountain. He pooped his pants again. [ Laughter ] So back to the bathroom. Long underwear are gone. And at that point, my father was like, "All right, day's over." And he went to get the car -- This is it. [ Light laughter ] And it was me and my sister and my brother waiting in the, like, the lobby of the lodge while my dad -- We're down to last line of defense. It's just the snow pants, you know? And he starts crying, saying it's going to happen. [ Laughter ] And me and my sister are like, "Just hang on." And it -- he didn't make it. You know what I mean? [ Laughter ] [ Rim shot ] And it happened. It happened. Without question, this is going to be the answer. -Okay, all right, oh, my gosh. -It's going to be the answer. Scott? First of all -- -Looking over, I'm seeing reaction. -No. -Just -- well, okay. -Look, it's all fine. -Is it? -Yeah. -I remember that last time I was here. -It's all going to be fine. I don't want you to get too excited. [ Laughter ] Scott, what is your most embarrassing childhood memory? -I didn't hold back. -All right, well -- Oh, my God. [ Laughter ] All right. The only thing I can think of -- oh, God, I wish I could think of something else, but now my brain is just like, "You have nothing else but this story." Oh, my God. [ Laughter ] Like, you wouldn't -- all right. I'm going to go with this. God, let it be right. I was driving home -- -No, isn't that! [ Laughter, audience "oh"s ] [ Rim shot ] [ Low horn, buzzer ] -No, yes! Yes, yes, that's it. Yes, that's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. -No, don't change -- -Oh, no! Oh, this is going to be amazing. [ Laughter ] -All right, all right. All right, we'll go, we'll go. Let's go. Let's go. -You're driving home. -Driving home from the rehearsal with my three siblings in a car. I was sitting in the front seat. I don't know how. And I -- I mean, I feel like -- okay, and I had to -- I had to go to the bathroom. [ Laughter ] -All right. Am I close? And I said -- and I begged my sister, "Pull over." Because I really had to go. She was like, "Where are you going to go?" And I was like, "On the street. I will do it anywhere." She wouldn't pull over. And I went, like -- I went in my pants. [ Laughter ] [ Low horn, rim shot ] [ Cheers and applause ] Wow. [ Ding ] Wow! -It's Loon Mountain. -Wow. -Your Honor -- welcome back to "Law & Order." Your Honor -- -There's been a murder. -There's been a murder. -I feel like -- -I did Loon Mountain. -I feel like our client would be used to that situation since... Since he pooped his pants three times on the ski slope! [ Laughter and applause ] -I was sick! -Come here. Come here, give me -- -To be fair -- -It's going to be okay. It's going to be all right. -Well, I did it when I was 10 the other time. -To be fair, to be fair, Loon Mountain, you were very young. That did happen. -Yeah, but the rehearsal story, I remember. -The rehearsal -- that wasn't your fault. You -- you let us know. -I begged you guys to pull over! -There was no boy who cried wolf. You let us know, and we didn't -- -So happy to be here again. [ Laughter ] -Give it up for Scott Evans and Chris Evans. The brothers! [ Cheers and applause ]