3 Toxic Ways You Might Be Over-Communicating in Your Relationship

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- Now there's this old saying that communication is absolutely critical in a relationship. I tend to agree with that statement. You need to be able to articulate what's going on in your mind and even what emotions you're feeling in order to properly connect with your partner. However, there are times in a relationship when communication is actually hurting the relationship. This is something that most people don't talk about. Everyone seems to talk about "Make sure you're always communicating, "always talking about your needs". By the way I am a classic over communicator in relationships aswell. Jessica will definitely attest to that. In this video I'm going to be talking about three times in a relationship where you may wanna actually take a step back and pull back from communicating what it is your thinking or what it is you're feeling. Because it is possible that over communicating in your relationship could be actually killing the relationship. Keep watching. (lighthearted music) Hey there Adam Lodolce from sexyconfidence.com where I help you help you create your love story. Now for starters I just wanna say, communication is very healthy in a relationship. Men can't read your mind. When you have something going on and what you're doing is communicating in a passive aggressive way or not telling him anything that is going on in your mind or in your emotional sense, then he's not going to be able to work with you to fix that problem. So I wanna be very clear in this video. I'm not saying that all communication is bad. Of course not. What I am saying is that they're a few different types of communication where it can be too much. It can be actually hurting the relationship and causing someone to pull back and actually creating more space in the relationship than it is connecting you to. Number one is overtexting. One pattern I've been noticing in the Sexy Confidence club forum is this discussion about texting. A lot of the members and a lot of the women who are posting in their are talking about how they don't feel like they're getting enough responses from a guy that they're dating. This is kind of a new pattern. I'm noticing that women who are in even the first month or even the first two or three months. They have this expectation that they are going to hear from their guy, once, twice, three, four, five times a day. Even ten years ago there was a different set of expectations when it came to texting and communication in a relationship. I believe this is just a result of society expecting that we get everything that we want when it is we want it. I blame Amazon for this. But it's true. We feel like if we want to talk to someone just because we have their phone number and we have this little device right here, then we have a right to talk to them. I know for a fact that even five years ago when Jessica and I met, we weren't texting four or five times a day. If she said within the fist three months of us dating that I'm not texting her enough throughout the day, I would really have to rethink things. Because that to me communicates that that person really needs to go get a life. The second way people over communicate in relationships is over communicating every single emotion that flows through your body. Now I for one am a total over communicator and I've actually really had to pull this back aswell which is, choosing your battles. For example, Jess and I are currently planning a wedding and it is a pretty big and complex wedding. If I had personally communicated everything I felt through every single step of the way, she might just murder me. Over the past few years, I've become more aware of my emotions as they creep up. Really try to think, "Are they even logical? "Is this actually something I want?" If I'm feeling a certain way. If I'm frustrated and I want change and I don't want Jessica to do something, is that actually logical or is it just some random emotion that I'm feeling because I'm hungry or tired or whatever? So for all of you when you do you get frustrated or angry or something is really bothering you, really take a little bit of time for that to settle in. Don't just immediately jump to texting or immediately communicating with your partner what the problem is. Give it a little time to breathe. Because in some cases, that emotion that you're feeling isn't even logical in the first place. The final way a lotta people over communicate in relationships. This is for a lot of you sexy single ladies who are working on your confidence in relationships is apologizing too much in a relationship. When we are in conflict someone in a relationship, it can be really easy to just apologize for something to kinda put that bandaid on it and be able to move on. That is very important at times to be able to assess when you're wrong and then of course apologize when you feel that you are wrong. However, if you're the type of person who is constantly apologizing even if you did nothing wrong whatsoever in the relationship. Just to keep things copacetic, then I really want you to take a hard look at that behavior because that in itself is over communicating. So I wanna hear from all of you, have you ever over communicated in a relationship and how did it work out? Leave a comment right there below. Also if you enjoyed this video, please give it a like on YouTube. Don't forget to subscribe on YouTube. Also, I have a course in the Sexy Confidence club that is available to all members. It's called "Rich Relationships". It really walks you through the four components of a healthy relationship. I have that in the link in the description right there below. Or check out the link in the bio if you're watching this on Instagram. Thank you so much for watching. I will speak to you sexy single ladies next week. Buh-bye.

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